2 min read

28 Ways to Know You're Married to a Grain Merchandiser

28 Ways to Know You're Married to a Grain Merchandiser

Wedding-Rings-in-Corn-HuskBeing a grain merchandiser can be a pretty lonely existence. There just aren't that many people on the planet that truly understand what a grain merchandiser does. However, there a few special people who have vowed a lifelong commitment to this rare breed. Although grain merchandising doesn't make a lot of sense to them, they appreciate our dedication and our passion and are always there to support the crazy hours and the constant stream of phone calls about rejected loads and other logistical emergencies. 

So here's to you, spouses! Thanks for putting up with us!

Here they are, in no particular order, the ways to know you're married to a grain merchandiser:

    • You pull off the interstate when traveling to check out a grain elevator you see from a distance. 
    • You lose your spouse once a year, every year for about 6 weeks.
    • You are happy when it rains on the weekend during harvest.
    • If you've gotten embarrassed when they try to negotiate at the supermarket checkout.
    • You have never celebrated Memorial Day, Labor Day, or 4th of July. (Depending on your geography)
    • When you ask what the temperature is on a cold January morning, they say, "3 under."
    • When your spouse is calculating how many months away something is, they skip February, April, June, and October.
    • Your kids are the only ones in the neighborhood that want to be short in Monopoly.
    • The names of your seven children: Jan, Marcel, Mae, Julie, Auggie, Sepp and Deece. And his dog's name is Novy.
    • If you've ever had to get a seasonal job at the elevator just to see your spouse.
    • They forget your anniversary, but always know what the Dec-Mch corn spread is trading at.
    • When the teacher asks your kids to recite their ABC's, they respond: ADM, Bunge and Cargill. If they're really advanced, they can go all the way to Zen-Noh.
    • You completely miss a wedding because they had to stop to see a producer "for just a minute" on the way to the ceremony. As a result, You're frequently overdressed for farm visits.
    • Temperature fluctuations at your house are referred to as "thermometer spreads."
    • You find soybeans in your washing machine & clothes dryer.
    • You RSVP, "Yes...if it rains."
    • As a passenger in his pick up truck, you spend most of your time either on the wrong side of the road or half in the ditch, because he's "perfectly capable of driving while checking crop conditions." 
    • Your family can't leave to go anywhere until 2:15 EST and has to be home again by 8:00.
    • Your shopping list includes numbers for filters, belts and cartridges.
    • You have White Commercial's phone number memorized.
    • You find yourself spewing out marketing information you didn't even know you knew, which could only come from years of hearing their commentary.
    • Your spouse is the only person in the history of the church softball league called out after hitting a ball over the fence for a home run. Why??? They were called out for "shorting the bases."
    • They return home early from a July golf outing elated. You ask them why so happy? They reply, "It RAINED!!!!!!!"
    • You have gotten a note from your spouse letting you know that the wedding is in K.
    • Sometimes you feel like your worth as a spouse is at least partially derived from your skill as a tender truck driver.
    • Your spouse asks you what the basis was on that new dress, or set of golf clubs that you bought.
    • Delivering some number 2 takes on a whole new meaning in your house.
    • While driving down the road with the family, you comment, "Isn't that pretty field of corn?" Without saying, in so many words, you are confirming that there looks to be a good harvest in the near future, some farmer has done a good job tending the land, and by the grace of God has had good weather to top it all off.
Merchandising: What's the Worst that Could Happen?

Merchandising:  What's the Worst that Could Happen?

As the season of fall harvest planning is upon us, let us take a moment to review the idea, and the reality, of the importance of having a grain flow...

Read More
The Grain Business IS the Relationship Business

1 min read

The Grain Business IS the Relationship Business

Successful businesses, no matter what industry, know, develop and practice the art of maintaining mutually beneficial relationships with their...

Read More
5 Ways Basis Trading Grain Elevators Own Their Markets

5 Ways Basis Trading Grain Elevators Own Their Markets

At White Commercial, we have the privilege of working with over 250 grain elevator companies all over the US and Canada. We have identified specific...

Read More